


The Storm That Is John Shepard

by sparkly_butthole



Series: The Future Is Ours [10]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Kaidan's an idiot, M/M, Mars mission, POV Kaidan Alenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-01 00:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12693108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_butthole/pseuds/sparkly_butthole
Summary: “Do you remember how he used to be scared of husks?’Liara laughs. “Yeah. He’d fight through just about anything else, but throw a husk at him and he’d run screaming in the other direction. I heard he fought a praetorian one on one while his team took down the husks on a collector vessel.”“Doesn’t surprise me,” Kaidan says fondly, remembering how silly it’d seemed. Husks, John, really?Written for Shepard Appreciation Week 2017





	The Storm That Is John Shepard

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the lovely ellebeedarling for the read-through! As always, couldn't have written it without your support!

Liara had had a thing for Shepard once upon a time. Kaidan knew. Ashley knew. Hell, the entire ship did. And once, Liara had asked Kaidan if Shepard was truly crazy, the ‘bona fide variety’, as she put it. She said as a doctor, she had a natural curiosity for human psychology, though that’s only the official story. He’s pretty sure she was in love with his recklessness, the way he rushed into everything like it was the last thing he’d do. The same qualities that made Shepard so very  _ human. _ The very qualities that Kaidan had loved - still loves. He’d had to tell her that no, in his estimation, Shepard was as sane as any other person.

But it sure didn’t seem that way sometimes.

 

Kaidan himself was convinced Shepard was insane the moment he saw him take the first shot on Eden Prime. Shepard didn’t even stay behind cover once he lined up for it; he stepped right out into enemy fire and breathed deeply like combat was some sort of fucked up meditation. Only then, once he was centered, did he take it- it was always right in the head, too. Surely they didn’t cover that in infiltrator training? It never failed to give Kaidan a heart attack, watching Shepard fight. 

If he knew how Kaidan felt about him, would he still be the same old Shepard? Would he still take those risks? Kaidan’s not sure he wants to find out. 

It hadn’t taken too long to get used to it, though, the way he fought. Other crazy things Shepard did, too, like breaking up a group of three or four enemies using fists instead of a perfectly good gun and cover. Or standing in front of madmen trying to talk them down while they pointed guns at his - and Kaidan’s - heads.

It was just a fact of life: Shepard might not be clinically insane, but it sure seemed that way.

And it was a thing of beauty.

 

Today, Shepard’s like an angel. Or a demon, if you’re unlucky enough to be on the other side of his biotic charge. He flies almost too fast to see; it takes Kaidan’s breath away, and maybe,  _ maybe _ makes his trousers feel a little tight, even as it damn near gives him a heart attack. Kaidan doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this again. Or else he’s just forgotten what it was like.

He tries to pay attention to the Cerberus troops in front of him; one wrong move could be utterly disastrous. Cerberus has seriously upgraded their troop performance, and he doesn’t want to be the weakest link here. Not in front of James. Not in front of Shepard.

But god _ damn _ is the man distracting.

When they meet up with Liara, she seems surprised at the nova, but takes it all in stride. Better than Kaidan does, for sure.

 

“Jesus, Liara. How long has he been like this?”

“Ever since Cerberus rebuilt him, from what I can tell. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s one word for it. Wait, when did you see him fight?”

“When we took down the Shadow Broker.”

“... the Shadow… I mean, of course you took down the Shadow Broker. What else would I expect.”

 

He’s impressed, of course he’s impressed. But he still remembers the old John. Still remembers the risks he took, how they had always seemed calculated. This John?

This John seems downright suicidal.

 

“Do you remember how he used to be scared of husks?’

Liara laughs. “Yeah. He’d fight through just about anything else, but throw a husk at him and he’d run screaming in the other direction. I heard he fought a praetorian one on one while his team took down the husks on a collector vessel.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Kaidan says fondly, remembering how silly it’d seemed.  _ Husks, John, really? _

“The way he throws those biotics now? He could take down three in one hit.”

“And the novas? I thought only specially trained human biotics could do that. I mean, I couldn’t even dream of it…”

“He must’ve worked on it during lockdown,” she muses.

Kaidan stares at her incredulously. “He had a basic amp while he was in lockdown. We took away that monster he must’ve paid two hundred thousand credits for. How, if not before then?”

“Well, he’s an exceptional soldier. You’ve said so yourself.”

“Yeah, but… Jesus,” he whispers.

 

And then Kaidan questions his very loyalty, can hear the bullshit fall from his own mouth, can see as the light dies in John’s baby blue eyes little by little, and knows himself for a fool. How can he doubt the man he’s loved for years, especially when he looks at Kaidan like that? Like he loves him right back, like none of what he’s imagined over the last two and a half years was wrong, and he finally has a chance at something real. How can he doubt him?

By being a stubborn ass, that’s how. John was right about that much.

 

“He’s still the same Shepard.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… give me some time to get used to it.”

“Of course, Kaidan. But don’t take too long. He needs you.”

Kaidan doesn’t know what to say to that, so he says nothing.

 

In that split second, the kind of split second where things slow to a crawl in the face of coming disaster, the kind of split second where you can see the end but can do nothing to stop it, in that split second before his head hits the shuttle, Kaidan makes a decision. 

John Shepard is still a thing of beauty, and he’s going to do whatever it takes to make him his. Just like it was always meant to be.


End file.
